Those four words can mean the difference between a fear of failure and the courage to try.

3/3/2008

​

By Mike Krzyzewski (Duke Basketball Coach) and his daughter Jamie Spatola

​

I absolutely loved Beyond Basketball. This book convinced me that incorporating a few words can meaningfully change a person in so many ways. That is, words can help one overcome the challenges of life, communicate better with one’s colleagues and family, and prioritize. In my personal case, I try to tell my daughters that I believe in them rather than just that I love them. If I were to summarize my feelings about this book, I only wish that I had read it and implemented its many wonderful messages when my family was younger.

 

Beyond Basketball corroborated my already great respect for Mike Krzyzewski (Coach K) who has coached the Duke Basketball Team for over twenty-five years. Coach K has led an outstanding basketball program while his players have achieved close to 80% graduation rate. In essence, Duke has consistently enjoyed first rate status while competing against illiterate professionals that are hanging out at colleges. In essence, Mr. Krzyzewski (Mr. K) for generations has done the impossible. That is, his teams are first rate and his players take seriously their academic responsibilities.

 

Coach K believes that certain words have special importance. He demonstrates in this book that these words to energize, motivate, and teach all of us to be winners in all aspects of our lives.  These words are not some mumble jumble but are meant to inspire positive action. That is, Coach K challenges the reader to “own the words” and not just say them. 

 

Adaptability: Coach K played under the legendary Basketball Coach, Bobby Knight, at West Point. During his years at West Point, the team had to perform a very difficult drill that they dreaded called the “Zig Zag.” When a number of years later, Coach K became the assistant coach to Bobby Knight at Indiana, Coach K was surprised that Bobby Knight had dropped the drill. When Coach K finally got up the nerve to ask Knight (who is well known for his violent temper) about this change in procedure, Bobby Knight responded that the athletes at Indiana did not need this drill because of their athletic prowess. In essence, to succeed one has to adapt to new situations. To be successful one has to be willing to adapt to new situations.

 

Adversity: Adversity can teach you more about yourself than any success, and overcoming an obstacle can sometimes feel better than achieving an easy victory

 

Balance: One cannot be one dimensional. One cannot let pursuits such as drive, passion, and intensity so consume you that you neglect the other important elements of your life. My greatest regret that in achieving partner status at Morgan Stanley I put my family on the sidelines.

 

Belief: “I believe in you” is maybe more important than “I love you.” “I believe in you can mean the difference between a fear of failure and the courage to try.

 

Care: When you care about someone you show genuine concern for that person or thing, in good times and bad. The former Secretary of the Treasury, my boss Bill Simon, said that “I should be a hail fellow well met.” I now realize that this advice gave the wrong message; that is, these words encouraged me to be insincere, and in effect be an opportunist.

 

Challenges: In order to maintain a high level of success, it is important to see each situation as a new challenge that requires a different approach. I was struggling to make new friends in Sarasota, my new home. Suddenly, I applied and was accepted to contribute weekly a business column to the Sarasota Herald Tribune. Assuming I do not get “writers freeze” I really think writing this column will expand my life in many ways.

 

Collective Responsibility: We win and lose together. When I worked a Solomon Brothers, my immediate boss would correct me when I said that “I had made a good trade.” He reminded me that he preferred the words “we” because a successful trade was a collective effort of salesmen and traders backed by the capital of Solomon Brothers.

 

Commitment: I have found that when your boss, wife, or parent believes in you, then you have the willpower to take on new challenges.

 

Communication: Coach K feels that to convey a message we need to ask 2 critical questions

• How do we talk to one another?

• How do we listen?

 

Coach K requires his players to look at each other in the eye.

 

Courage: Winston Churchill said “Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees all the others.” Courage enables one to put what you believe on the line, to test it, and to see how far it takes you.

 

Crisis Management: One does not handle crises the instant that occur. That is one has to be prepare for crises well before by establishing trusting relationships among all members of your team and family. I dislike this new ad my Hillary Clinton that prioritizes a response at 3:00 AM. I believe that for America to overcome its multiple challenges, our leaders need to evaluate our current situation, establish new policies, and then monitor the results of our new policies.

 

Culture: One has to have a tradition that maintains the standards that you want to define at your company and at your home. Culture is established by the people who compose your team and is carried on through those people. In my some forty years on Wall Street, only a very few firms consistently excelled, because they possessed a first rate culture. Unfortunately, bad management can destroy decades of culture in a matter of months.

 

Dependability: The ability to be relied upon. “A friend in need is a friend in deed.”

 

Empathy: The ability to walk in another person’s shoes. Empathy means seeing the world from another person’s perspective. Too many people give advice without walking in another person’s shoes.

 

Enthusiasm: Enthusiasm is the catalyst which motivates the team to succeed. 1000 mile trip begins with the first step.

 

Failure: Failure cannot be your final destination; rather, one can use it to shatter limits. It is a stepping-stone on your journey to greatness. My mother used to say “Winners never quit, and Quitters never win.”

 

Family: Your family is your primary team. It is as old as the Bible, “blood is thicker than water.”

 

Friendship: There is nothing more valuable than a true friend. Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

-----ANAÏS NIN

 

Guidance: We all need guidance (help) and we should work hard to find sources of guidance and well as learn how to give it. I am a great believer in seeking help of friends and employing the talents of specialists.

 

Imagination: The Greatest gift a parent can give to their child is the opportunity to imagine great things. 

"Some people see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say why not?"

---Robert Kennedy

 

Integrity: Means doing what is right whether you are alone or with a group, doing the right thing no matter what the rewards of the consequences may be. It means putting your base of ethics into action. I loved being a bond trader, because “you lived and died by your word.”

 

Learning: Living is learning. Once you stop learning, you are no longer living. The key to learning is listening. You can learn from everyone and forever.

 

Motivation: The Extra push needed to reach a goal.

 

Next Play: Whatever you have just done is not nearly as important as what you are doing right now.

 

Passion: Passionate is extreme emotion. If you never give up, you can be empowered to get the job done. How many of us remember the story about the “little train?”

The train asked another engine, and another, only to hear excuses and be refused. In desperation, the train asked the little switch engine to draw it up the grade and down on the other side. "I think I can," puffed the little locomotive, and put itself in front of the great heavy train. As it went on the little engine kept bravely puffing faster and faster, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can."

As it near the top of the grade, which had so discouraged the larger engines, it went more slowly. However, it still kept saying, "I--think--I--can, I--think--I--can." It reached the top by drawing out bravery and then went on down the grade, congratulating itself by saying, "I thought I could, I thought I could."

 

Poise: Keep your composure in spite of the circumstances.

 

Pride: Self-Respect and a feeling of satisfaction over an accomplishment ensure that what you have done will ensure that you will accomplish your task in the best manner possible.

 

Respect: Treat everyone the same. Shortly after my father died, I needed to get an inoculation in order to travel abroad. When the nurse gave me the shot, she commented that my father was such a caring gentleman. She raved about the time Dad spent with her talking about the wonders of Europe.

 

Selflessness: A Person does not become whole until they have become part of something bigger than themselves.